The story of
how I reverted to al Islam is a story of plans. I made plans, the group I was
with made plans, and Allah made plans. And Allah is the Best of Planners.
When I was a
teenager, I came to the attention of a group of people with a very sinister
agenda. They were and probably still are a loose association of individuals who
work in government positions but have a special agenda - to destroy Islam. It
is not a governmental group that I am aware of; they simply use their positions
in the US government to advance their cause.
One member of
this group approached me because he saw that I was articulate, motivated and
very much the women's rights advocate. He told me that if I studied
International Relations with an emphasis in the Middle East, he would guarantee
me a job at the American Embassy in Egypt. He wanted me to eventually go there
to use my position in the country to talk to Muslim women and encourage the
fledgling women's rights movement.
I thought this
was a great idea. I had seen the Muslim women on TV; I knew they were a poor
oppressed group, and I wanted to lead them to the light of 20th century
freedom.
With this
intention, I went to college and began my education. I studied Quran, Hadeeth
and Islamic history. I also studied the ways I could use this information. I
learned how to twist the words to say what I wanted them to say. It was a
valuable tool. Once I started learning, however, I began to be intrigued by
this message. It made sense. That was very scary.
Therefore, in
order to counteract this effect, I began to take classes in Christianity. I
chose to take classes with this one professor on campus because he had a good
reputation and he had a Ph.D. in Theology from Harvard University. I felt I was
in good hands.
I was, but not
for the reasons I thought. It turns out that this professor was a Unitarian
Christian. He did not believe in the trinity or the divinity of Jesus. In
actuality, he believed that Jesus was a prophet.
He proceeded
to prove this by taking the Bible from its sources in Greek, Hebrew and Aramaic
and show where they were changed. As he did this, he showed the historical
events which shaped and followed these changes.
By the time I
finished this class, my religion had been destroyed, but I was still not ready
to accept Islam. As time went on, I continued to study, for myself and for my
future career. This took about three years. In this time, I would question
Muslims about their beliefs. One of the individuals I questioned was a Muslim
brother.
Alhamdulillah,
he saw my interest in the religion, and made it a personal effort to educate me
about Islam. May Allah increase his reward. He would give me guidance at every
opportunity which presented itself.
One day, this
man contacts me, and he tells me about a group of Muslims who were visiting in
town. He wanted me to meet them. I agreed. I went to meet with them after
Evening prayer. I was led to a room with at least 20 individuals in it. They
all made space for me to sit, and I was placed face to face with an elderly
Pakistani gentleman.
Mashallah,
this brother was a very knowledgeable man in matters of Christianity. He and I
discussed and argued the varying parts of the bible and the Quran until the
morning.
At this point,
after having listened to this wise man tell me what I already knew, based on
the class I had taken in Christianity, he did what no other individual had ever
done. He invited me to become a Muslim.
In the three
years I had been searching and researching, no one had ever invited me. I had
been taught, argued with and even insulted, but never invited. May Allah guide
us all. So when he invited me, it clicked. I realized this was the time. I knew
it was the truth, and I had to make a decision.
Alhamdulillah,
Allah opened my heart, and I said, "Yes. I want to be a Muslim." With
that, the man led me in the shahadah - in English and in Arabic. I swear by
Allah that when I took the shahadah, I felt the strangest sensation. I felt as
if a huge, physical weight had just been lifted off my chest; I gasped for
breath as if I were breathing for the first time in my life.
Alhamdulillah,
Allah had given me a new life - a clean slate - a chance for paradise, and I
pray that I live the rest of my days and die as a Muslim. Ameen.
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