I was born
Anna Linda Traustadóttir to Icelandic/Danish parents in Reykjavík, Iceland in
1966 and baptised into the Lutheran Church. My family moved to Vancouver,
Canada and then to New York City when I was young. I finished high school at
16. In 1988, I got my B.A. from McGill University, Montréal, Canada. Since then
I have been travelling around the world, studying and working. Denmark has been
my base since 1990.
In 1997, while
studying Arabic in Cairo, one of my English girlfriends, a born-again Christian
bought me a portable Bible, with both the Old and New Testaments. I was
extremely pleased because I had decided that I needed to know what the Bible
was and what was in it. And I felt that I could hardly call myself Christian
without consciously studying the Bible.
In 1998,
whilst studying at Damascus University, I read the whole Bible, from cover to
cover, taking notes as I went along. Once I had completed it, I realised that
there were too many inconsistencies, too many things I didn't agree with. Like
the Old Testament's portrayal of God and women, not to mention all the things
that Paul wrote in the New Testament. And when I read about the holy men, the
Prophets, like Noah, Lot, David, etc., I found that I didn't respect them. I
love and admire Moses (from the Old Testament) and Jesus (from the New
Testament). Having already read the Torah, I tried getting a complete Jewish
Talmud, to no avail. I’d always heard that Jews (except for reformed) do not
recognise someone who converted to Judaism. Also, many, though not all, Jews
are Zionist (those who support Israel). And I am terribly anti-Zionist and
anti-Israel, and so, by default, pro-Palestinian. I also wanted a religion that
would accept a convert. I dabbled with Buddhism but decided this was not for
me, as Buddhists don't believe in God. And I strongly believe in God, always
have. Buddhism is still interesting as an alternative way of life. My mum and I
used to discuss Hinduism and so I was very interested in it, but there are just
too many Hindu gods for me. Therefore Hinduism was out of the question. That,
and the fact that you cannot convert to Hinduism.
When I had my
son, Andrés Ómar, in October 2001, I was asked whether he would be baptised,
and even then I refused. I felt that innocent children would surely be welcome
in Heaven, baptised or not. Anyway, how could I introduce him into the
Christian religion when I myself did not call myself a believing Christian,
though I was born and raised as a Protestant? I didn't believe in the Trinity,
in Mary as the "mother" of God, in Jesus as the "son" of
God, in Jesus dying to cleanse us of our sins, in Jesus crying out in Aramaic
on the cross: "Eli, Eli, lama sabakh-tha-ni?" I mean why would Jesus
cry out: "My God, my God, why hadst thou forsaken me?" when Jesus
knew he was sent on a mission by God as a prophet of God?
I grew up
being one of the most anti-Muslim, anti-Islam people you could ever meet. This
is true: I was. I had also been anti-Arab before moving to Cairo to study
Arabic (I thought Arabic calligraphy was beautiful). I'd grown up in the
States, raised on American movies, which always portrayed Arabs as
fundamentalists, radicals, women-oppressors, religious fanatics, terrorists,
never normal, average people. The large majority of people who are anti-Arab have
never been to any Arab country. The reality there is very different.
In 1999, I
went back to Damascus to work at an embassy. There in 2000, I met an engineer
named Muhammad. We married soon after we met. To be honest when I married Muhammad,
I married him because I loved him, even though he was Muslim. Over time, I
realised I loved him because he was Muslim. A good Muslim. I had met many
Muslims here in Denmark and in the Middle East, and just like in my life, I've
met some nice and not-so-nice Christians, Jews, Hindus, Buddhists, etc. I
thought all those Muslims I'd met were representing Islam. And whenever I asked
Muslims questions about Islam, one thing struck me: Nearly everyone claimed to
be an expert in Islam, even those who gave me, I later found out, false
information. It would have been more prudent just to say: I don’t know/I’m not
sure. Yet I never judged Christianity or any other religion by its followers.
Strangely though, I judged Islam by every Arab I met, even though 1) not all
Arabs are Muslim. Some are Protestant, Catholic, Jewish, Druze, Coptic,
Alawite, etc. And 2) most Muslims aren't Arab. Muslims can be Indonesian,
Indian, Chinese, Macedonian, Malay, Russian, Thai, African, Bosnian, American,
Swedish, etc., and of course, Arab. I had been raised not to be prejudiced, but
I was. It took me a long time to realise this.
It's only
after countless hours of discussion, and at times arguments (!), with my
husband that I came to be open-minded enough to realise that I didn't have the
full picture.
During Ramadan,
November 2002, I asked Muhammad whether he would help me read the Qur'an in
Arabic. He had little time, but I was determined to read the Qur'an in Arabic
with the help of a good translation. When I read the Qur'an, Islam’s holiest
book, I thought it was beautiful, so scientific, so compassionate, so feminist!
Nearly all the books I'd ever read about Islam, all written by non-Muslims,
showed Islam in a negative light. Those people who wrote against Islam
sometimes gave partial quotes from the Qur'an, leaving out the rest of the
verse, or they would translate the verses incorrectly, on purpose or by
mistake. I knew enough Arabic to know that what I was reading was unlike
anything I'd ever read.
So much
science, so much knowledge that has been only recently discovered. I mean the
Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) mentions: black holes, space travel, DNA
and genetic science, evolution (transformation and mutation), geology,
oceanography, embryonic development, aquatic origins of life... WOW! I had
always heard that the Qur'an was basically just a watered-down version of the
Bible, but none of this was in the Bible! I wondered how someone over 1400
years ago could have written anything like this! Some of these ideas were only
discovered this century. Then I thought, well, Arab scientists, astronomers,
mathematicians, cartographers were so advanced for that time, maybe some of
them got together and wrote a book, loosely based on the Torah and the Gospels.
But then I studied it further and realised that the Arabic scientific
revolution followed the arrival of Islam. Then I read that Muslims believe that
the Qur'an was given to Mohammad (peace be upon him) through the Angel Gabriel,
and is the continuation of God's word. Muslims believe that parts of the Torah
and parts of the Gospels, which speak of Jesus’ life, are inspired by God, or
"Allah" as God is called in Arabic. Not just Muslims, but Christian
and Jewish Arabs also call God "Allah." Muslims revere Abraham,
Solomon, Moses, Jesus, and Noah, in fact, all of the Biblical Prophets. It is
also mentioned that there are other prophets that came to other nations to help
them become better people. They also believe that the Prophet Mohammad (peace
be upon him) is the last prophet, until Jesus returns to Earth.
It says in the
Qur’an that Allah can put a veil over our eyes and a stone over our hearts so
that we can neither see nor feel the message of the Qur’an. Only when Allah is
ready for us to know it, do we understand. On 12 December 2002, I had an
incredible dream that started me thinking and contemplating religion more
deeply. Dreams are very important in Iceland and dream interpretation is
practically a science! I never thought I needed a religion. Religion fascinated
me, but I had believed I was doing fine just believing in God, taking bits from
different religions until I got my own cocktail: "Anna’s Mix."
In January
2003, I started looking at the Internet, just doing searches like:
"Islam," "Qur'an," "Muslim," etc. In March,
whilst in Reykjavík, I got the opportunity to speak with one of my best
Icelandic girlfriends, a Muslim, and she recommended a really good English
translation (the Abdullah Yusuf Ali version), to go along with the original
Arabic. In April, I received it and started using it as a supplement.
In May 2003,
my Icelandic Muslim friend returned the visit and stayed two weeks with us. We
started talking about the Qur'an. I told her that I wanted to translate it into
Icelandic. She told me it was her dream too. We agreed we would do it together.
We used our time together well, discussing Christianity, Judaism and Islam all
day, every day. She had questioned her Lutheran faith, considered Judaism,
visited Israel ("Occupied Palestine" as far as I am concerned) twice,
and only on her second visit, started to consider the other side of the
Arab-Israeli conflict. She got interested in Islam. She had earlier gone a
similar path as I, coming to the same conclusions. Back in 1995, when she told
me she'd become Muslim, I behaved badly: I was extremely negative. Shame on me
for being unsupportive!
Now I found
myself seeing myself Muslim. I told my husband about my revelations, and he
questioned me at length. He asked me to wait with changing my religion. He told
me that becoming Muslim would make my life more difficult, that people who
didn't know Islam would treat me differently, that at this time, in the year
2003, and in this world we live in, people would ridicule me. He said I might
lose contact with my family and my friends if I took on the Muslim faith. He
feared that people that didn't know me so well or that I hadn't seen in a long
time, or ever met him, would think he was forcing me to become Muslim. I told
him if that were true, we could not have got married, for when we married, I
was Christian, and had remained Christian up until then. Also, I argued, people
who have known me at all know I am a strong-minded, true feminist/humanist,
that I am opinionated, but not narrow-minded, and that no one can control
me...My parents have tried for years to no avail!
I decided then
and there that if friends and family didn't want any contact with me because I
decided to become Muslim, so be it! My religion is mine and I am proud of my
research into Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism and Islam. It has taken
me years and countless hours of reading and soul-searching to get to this
point. My belief in God is something I have always taken seriously and I have
never been ashamed to declare this faith, even when others ridicule me for
believing in something they say we cannot see. I argue, look around you, how
can you not believe in a supreme being that created everything around us. And
for those of you that view Islam as some kind of cult, it isn't. Its one of the
biggest religions in the world, if not the largest: One in four people on this
planet is now Muslim, and it's the fastest growing religion.
So finally, on
4 June 2003, I decided to officially become Muslim so that I could go on Hajj
to Makkah. I had been searching for answers for a long time, since my
childhood, and by the mid-1990's, I was buying books on different faiths. Deep
inside, I imagined it would find the answers for me. I remember the first time
I heard the "Azan" (the Muslim call for prayer, when a fellow says
"Allahu Akbar" (God is Great) from a minaret at a masjid). It was a
bright, sunny, February Sunday in Cairo in 1997, so church bells were also
ringing, but when I heard the call for prayer, tears streamed down my face,
without my realising it. I wasn't Muslim, but it moved me. One of my oldest and
dearest friends, a Catholic, was in Beirut a while ago, staying at a hotel and
woke up to the call for prayer at 4.30 during her first night in Lebanon. She
thought it was so moving that she also cried.
When I read
the Qur'an, I feel it in my stomach, deep in my gut, that this is right for me.
The inspirational beauty of the Qur'an makes me sometimes cry. It's an
all-encompassing way of life. No other religious book ever moved me to tears.
The Qur'an simply
put is the most complex book I've ever read. The more you read it, the more you
understand and at the same time, question. The Qur'an is meant to inspire you
to learn more. Every time you read it, you peel off different layers of
understanding. I am not an expert; I never will be. Even if I read from it
every day for the rest of my life, I will still learn something new. It's full
of mysteries. I still also supplement my Qur'anic studies with Biblical studies
like the "Gospel of Barnabas," "The Torah," etc.
I've also
since got some new Muslim girlfriends over the Internet. Whilst searching the
net, I came across an Icelandic Muslim site: www.islam.is, and I contacted the
writer. We started a correspondence. Around New Year's 2004, I sent her a
report I wrote entitled "Islam in Iceland 2003," which I am
submitting to the Saudi Government, she suggested we three work on the translation
of the Qur'an from Arabic to Icelandic (Kóraninn), as she also speaks Arabic.
So it seems that we will be three Icelandic Muslim women working on translating
the Arabic Qur'an. For those of you looking for a good English version, I’ve
heard the Muhammad Asad translation is also very direct, but I myself have yet
to get hold of it.
I did however
buy an incredible amount of reading material in Kuala Lumpur last summer. It’s
a new Muslim’s Makkah for books. I really stocked up! My husband, son and I
stayed a month in Malaysia. What an incredible place! Of Islamic areas, I had
only been to the Arab Middle-East and here was a whole new Islamic world in
South-East Asia! The experience was wonderful to say the least. I had always
been fond of Islamic art and architecture, and all of Malaysia is both an
indoor and outdoor museum!
I always try
to be positive, so I think it's a very exciting time, the 21st century! If
someone like me can become Muslim, there’s hope for anybody! The friends that I
have discussed religion with recently know that I have become Muslim, and
without fail, they have been extremely supportive. I was a bit surprised that
they were not shocked. They said they knew one day I'd find my niche (I'd been
searching so long), and they were happy for me. Some even call me by my new
Muslim name: Núr, which means light. I also still use Anna Linda, because it's
the name my parents gave me and it represents part of the person I was for 36
years. Núr is just the continuation of me!
So ends my
story: "Journey to Light," a journey which is, in fact, just
beginning!
Maa is-salaama
wa Allah makum!
Núr
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