My Name is
Aisha Jibreel Alexander and I grew up in a Roman Catholic family. I was always
very interested in knowing about religion and always questioned the “dogmas” of
the catholic faith, but I found the same answers every time I asked about the
trinity. “You have to believe and not question your faith because you are
committing a sin”, the nuns at the school always replied. With this concept, I
grew up and I developed a fear of challenging my faith, so I continued in the
road of Christianity with great faith and trust in God and on what I learned to
believe, “the holy trinity.”
In 2001 I had
the first encounter with Islam when I worked for a Canadian Company owned by
Muslims. There, I had my first confrontation with the faith, but as I was young
and very much dedicated to my professional career, I left the questions about
religion behind, and I concentrated on finishing my career and taking care of
my responsibilities with my family who also relocated with me from Colombia (my
mother and my grandmother who are now 61 and 93 years old). I was very blessed
with the family where I was born. These two women taught me the love and
respect of God. They started my journey towards Islam by teaching me that I could
not be or do anything without faith in God. Regardless the school they adhered
to or followed, they taught me all about faith and respect of God.
I got married
in 2003, a marriage that unfortunately marked my life with domestic violence,
but out of the sad episode, I had my dearest son who is now eight years old. My
husband at the time did not believe in God. Or should I say he believed in his
own way. He drew me far from God; even from Christianity. It was the saddest
episode of my life. But one day in 2005, I broke out of that situation with the
help of my mother, and I continued life alone with my son and my mother,
working hard to achieve my career goals,
while becoming the main provider for my
home.
Aviation
brought me many opportunities; most of them really good. I had the opportunity
to live in Malaysia, a country that shares three religions - Islam mainly, Hinduism
and Buddhism. Back then, I lived in South America and I worked in the United
States as a Corporate Pilot. Now, I am an Airline pilot flying mainly to Asia,
Middle East and Europe. Unfortunately, being the only female pilot, almost everywhere
I went, I spent most of time lonely. Maximum of my colleagues spent their spare
time in night clubs and bars, and I was looking for something else that I could
not have ever found in a club or at a bar, so I dedicated my spare time to
continue my university studies online, but no time for God, other than a small
prayer in the morning, and maybe at night time; no time to go to churches. So I
was growing as a career woman but what about the life after?
Whenever I
travelled to the Middle East, I always felt something special inside. There, I
felt like dressing in a more decent manner than I normally did. I used to wear
tight jeans, tight pants and fashion tops but I didn’t feel like dressing that
way in the Middle East, not at a place where they called the name of God five
times a day. I felt ashamed. I guess this is how the conversion started. Once
in Bahrain, while waiting for my airplane to be fixed, I downloaded the Quran
and I began praying every day in the morning before going for breakfast. I was
feeling very empty inside; my life then was limited to waking up, working, eating,
exercising and sleeping, but what about my spiritual life? Even when I returned
back Home, I was not leading my son spiritually in the way I was supposed to.
Previously, on my search to find God, I went from the Catholic church to the
Baptist church, and after the ceremony of baptism, we only went to church a few
times, mainly because of my tight schedule at work and honestly, there was no
connection. Something was missing. I was
not there completely.
Was God in my
life? Yes, indeed! But He had better plans for me. I think He was just waiting
for me to realize that my life was not only to work and pay bills. He knew I
had more responsibilities with myself and my son; responsibilities to build for
the life after. So God knocked at my door...and I was afraid to open. I thought
just by talking to God in my mind all day and saying His name many times in the
day was enough to feed my soul….but no it wasn’t enough. God knew I was in
urgent need of Him saving my life.
The moment I
said Islam was for me, it was in the Middle East; when I heard the call for
prayer. At that moment, I had to cover my eyes with my sun glasses in front of
the other pilots that were with me on the way to the restaurant, because my
eyes were filled with tears...I felt like saying, “stop! I have to join this
prayer”. I still remember one of them making fun of the call for prayer, and I
felt so upset inside. I felt like calling him ignorant, & saying, “Don’t
you realize it is a call for praying to God?”…but the words didn’t come out. Only
tears kept rolling down my eyes. On that night after dinner, I came to my room,
grabbed the praying rug, and bowed down to God; as I asked for His guidance for
finding my spiritual light. After that night, my search started stronger than
ever. I watched videos, read the Quran on my long flights, looked out for
Islamic organizations to find answers, and finally one day in Argentina; while
resting after a long flight, I listened to a program about Islam in the
country. So I googled for Islam in South America, and found that I was not the
only Hispanic interested in Islam. The community was bigger than what any one
could imagine. I committed myself to return to Argentina soon and visit the
biggest Masjid in the American Continent. So I did. Three months passed, and I
was assigned a trip to Argentina on thanksgivings day. After arriving, I made
an appointment and went to visit the Masjid. I met with the Sheikh, a Saudi
Arabian man who led the prayers in the Masjid. We talked for about three hours
and before I left, he asked me if I wanted to embrace Islam. I said right away,
“Yes!” I feared I might not return back to Argentina or get a similar
opportunity.
My biggest
struggle was to change my preconceived conviction of Jesus (peace be upon him)
being God. At first, I felt I was betraying him. I was concerned and scared. I
couldn’t wash out those phrases of the nuns back at school saying “not to
challenge the religion because it was a sin”. This was the most difficult part.
Sheikh
Mohammed from the Masjid in Argentina helped a lot with a little phrase he said
to me, “Ibrahim, Moses, Noah, and Jesus (peace be upon them) where all in this
road. Do you think is there any reason why you can’t be following them?” Reading
the Quran and finding the recognition that Jesus (peace be upon him) enjoys,
the importance of Maryam in Islam (she is in Islam, more important than she is for
many Christians in Christianity), reading about the influence of Constantine
and how he changed Christianity, all these studies helped a lot in clearing out
my mind and feeling comfortable with accepting the truth that was always hidden
to me; not by purpose, hidden just because it was the truth that my parents and
ancestors knew, but “never challenged”.
As far as my
lifestyle was concerned, I stopped drinking; this happened few months before I
accepted Islam. Soon after my trip from Bahrain, after I prayed for guidance, I
met with a good friend of mine; she and I always ate at the same restaurant and
had a drink or two with the food. That day, I said “no” I don’t drink anymore,
and I declared inside I was never going to have another alcoholic beverage,
because I wanted to seek God. Also, I don’t eat pork anymore and I am changing
my wardrobe, which is very difficult because I love clothing and fashion. I was always proud of my body and I liked dressing
in a way so that everyone would look at me. Now, I have starting wearing a
Hijab, wearing loose clothing, abayas, and modest long shirts.
At work, I am
struggling very much. In the company where I work, most people are biased
towards Islam. As far as my mother is concerned, she is still Christian, but
she says she’s glad of my positive changes, and she is learning more and more
about Islam every day, and she feels proud of me for being a Muslim. And now
that my 8 year old son also reverted to Islam at his own free will, she is
happy that we are on this safe path seeking for God.
My dream as a new
Muslim is to study Islam, and help those families that are struggling with
accepting the idea of converting to Islam. I want to focus particularly on
children coming to Islam.
I think
converting to a new faith is harder for parents with younger children because
they can be easily confused. This is why I would like to concentrate on
children of converted families in the future.
I also would
like as a Muslim Pilot, to show the world that Islam is not the submission or
oppression that many think it is, and defeat the idea that Islam rejects career
women; on the contrary, being able to do what I do is something that only Allah
could make possible.
The last thing I would like to share is that I have chosen a Muslim name for me, which is Aisha Jibreel. Aisha means ‘new life’, as Islam is a new way of life for me, and Jibreel, because he is the messenger of Allah, and I am in Islam because Allah delivered to my heart a message of peace, by showing me the road to Islam.
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